©2007, Shepherd Press, 189 pp. in paperback

Sinners marry sinners. In a fallen world this is the only possibility because all mankind are born sinners and sin manifold times. This basic fact is easily forgotten in the midst of marriage problems. We find it much easier to point the finger at our spouses’ sin than to admit our own. It is much easier to give blame than to take blame for our part in the problem.

Harvey’s book keeps the focus on the fact of individual sinfulness, making for hopeful, not dismal, reading. We are reminded of God’s great work in our life and in the life of our Christian spouse. This opens up great avenues of hope.

The outpouring of God’s grace in our lives calls us to see biblical ways we can show grace to our spouse. Also, we can become salvation-oriented rather than blame shifters. Both spouses are sinners; keeping this in mind, we can pray in regard to besetting sins in the lives of each other and aid each other in fighting those sins. We know one another’s weaknesses in regard to sin areas. By God’s grace we work not to push our spouse into those areas where sin can so easily result, for example, not saying phrases that we know will anger the other or using body language or vocal tone that will produce the same result.

The above are only a few of the many practical insights the author conveys. One chapter is devoted to how marital intimacy can be damaged if sin issues are not properly addressed. The final chapter examines various issues of sin as approaching death means the separation of the two who have become one.

This book is very balanced and readable. It can open the door to helpful spousal communication as it encourages each spouse to focus of the fact of personal sin rather than on the other’s sin.

The author provides many anecdotes and helpful remarks regarding his own marriage. He writes with honesty and humility. He shows that marital problems have realistic answers by showing the operation of God’s grace in his life and marriage. In the midst of many apt illustrations he keeps the focus on God and the change God can continually bring into the lives and marriage of two sinners.

Review ©2008 Byron Snapp, Hampton, Virginia