©2008, Shepherd Press, 188 pp. in paperback

“How do I rightly raise my children?” This question is asked by parents in every generation. It is an important question. Scripture tells us that our children are gifts from God. They are to be shaped and then shot forth into the next generation to do battle by God’s grace for the Lord God. (Ps. 127:3, 4)

The Tripps realize the gravity of this question and also the source for the answer. Throughout the fifteen chapters they keep the reader’s attention focused on the Bible. As a parent and a pastor, Tedd Tripp realizes how easy it is for Christian parents to parent wrongly without realizing their error.

A major mistake parents make is to only address their children’s outward behavior. Parents do not want their children embarrassing them in public, thus deals are often made with children. Children will get what they desire in exchange for letting a sibling play with a toy or for good behavior while they are at the mall. Tripp addresses the errors contained in such thinking and the wrong lessons parents teach in this endeavor.

The authors consistently focus our attention on the need for our children to see the corruptness of their heart, the forgiving grace of Jesus, and how to replace evil action with a proper response from within. There are many great reminders here. Parents and their offspring recall that God looks on the heart. It is from our hearts that evil comes. Christians of all ages must fight our sin natures throughout life. Godly obedience is not primarily for the sake of appearance.

The authors stress the importance of formative parenting. Here they point us to the importance of daily teaching our children God’s thoughts and way through our example, our conversation, and our inquiry into our children’s thinking on that which they deem important at that time in their life. They warn against the benefits we think may come from any instruction that proceeds out of our anger and shouting in the midst of their disobedience or foolish actions. The book rightly points out that these encounters often result in foolish words on our part and our subsequent repentance. Again it turns the parent’s attention to the need to come alongside the offspring and in conversation and patient questioning direct him to see that his action came from a sinful heart. The parent needs to remind the child that the parents wrestle with the sinful thoughts and actions that proceed out of his heart. Again the answer is repentance, God’s grace and, where possible, restitution to the victim.

A chapter is devoted to a conversation that could take place between the parent and a child who has been disobedient. This dialogue employs the principles the authors have laid out in previous chapters. The Tripps are aware that every act of disobedience doesn’t have to result in these conversations.

Parents who are committed to instruct their children’s hearts must be in scripture themselves. Personal studies as well as family devotions are stressed. These provide parental preparation to face temptation and to teach offspring in times of non-conflict.

Communication is always important. One chapter is devoted to ways communication can be positive and fruitful.

This book is a valuable tool for parents to better parent and for future parents to prepare for this important task. The Tripps write with humility and employ many examples of positive and negative parenting in their own experience as parents. It can be used in a variety of formats: personal reading or as the resource for Bible study group or Sunday School class. Christians need to take the time to read this book and employ its tenants in their parenting or in counsel to those who are parenting.

Review ©2008 Byron Snapp, Hampton, Virginia